i have been a very worried slave since around 8.30am this morning when i stepped on the scales and i could not believe what they were saying - 84.3 kilograms. This weight was up 0.4 kilograms from last week. How could this be? i thought i had been so good this week but obviously not good enough so i am now looking at receiving 12 of the best from Mistress Adira. my Mistress has decided to keep me on tenterhooks and has decided not to announce my fate as to whether i will be punished or not until at least tomorrow - so cruel to play with my emotions like that. i would much rather get the punishment over and done with if i had a choice but i do not have a choice and i have to be patient and live in hope that i may not be punished. i never deliberately set out to get a punishment - i have too much respect for my Mistress to do that. And besides that, punishments with my Mistress are not something to be joked about. Mistress gains too much enjoyment from punishing Her slaves for them to be considered fun or mickey mouse.  

i accept that as a collared slave i will from time to time deserve to be punished and it is a very important part of my learning and training to be a slave. i will keep my fingers and toes crossed that my Goddess will be in a very generous mood and decide that i will not get 12 of the best from my Mistress but i am reconciling myself to the fact that i will be getting 12 of the best from my Goddess soon. There is no worse a feeling for a slave to have a possible punishment hanging over its head. i am no different, i would much prefer to know my fate but that is not my choice it is the choice of Mistress Adira when i will be told if i am to be punished.

Apart from the bad news about my weight (that is why i dread Saturdays), today has been fantastic. A few weeks ago my Mistress decided that i should have a "winter" slave uniform and today it arrived. i have had a huge erect cock since lunchtime as i have worn my new uniform - black t-shirt with slave training emblazoned on it and white cotton boxer shorts. How humiliating (exciting) to have to wear such a uniform. i am so fortunate that Mistress Adira was able to find such suitable clothing for me. At least i only have to wear this uniform whilst i am at home because it would be obvious to anyone just what i am if i ever had to wear this uniform outside of my home - a slave.

my cock has been at the forefront of my thoughts today partly because of my new uniform and the fact that i had to shave my legs and balls this afternoon. Mistress likes me to have nice smooth legs and balls and i like that silky smooth sensation and so does my cock and in addition to all of this i was given an additional task by my Mistress today. To my surprise Mistress Adira wanted to keep me focused on my cock today and continues to play with my frustration levels as it has nearly been 5 weeks since i was last allowed the privilege of releasing seed from my cock. 

i was required to play with my cock twice today - at 2.30pm and 7.00pm. i had to play with my cock for 6 minutes each time. Normally this would be a pleasurable task but i was not allowed to cum under any circumstance. It is so hard to play with my cock knowing that i am not allowed to cum as my male instincts always want to take over as soon as my hand grabs hold of my cock. Iit is very difficult to maintain control but i just have to or it is a punishment for me. my Mistress has given me no indication when i will next be allowed to release seed from my cock. i am hoping it will be tomorrow but i think Mistress Adira enjoys keeping me in chastity too much - so it could be a bit longer before i will be allowed that privilege again. 

Another exciting day is ahead for me tomorrow as i have a session with my Goddess scheduled - what a lucky slave!